poopgiggle
B Class Nobody
Hey there folks. It's me, poopgiggle.
Something you may not know about me is that when I'm not busy being the worst action pistol shooter in the world, breaking into computers, or romancing all the cute vegan hipster girls at the University of Tulsa, I spend a lot of time drinking. Whether this is just a habit left over from my fraternity days, or simply a crutch that I use to help me bear the burden of being so incredibly brilliant and handsome, I enjoy drinking, as Hunter S Thompson put it, "at the upper end of social." Unfortunately, as a graduate student who makes almost no money (and who spends much of the disposable income he does have on guns and ammo), I can't exactly tip up a Chimay or 10 every time I want to get my buzz on. Hence, malt liquor.
Malt liquor is basically beer's no-good, drunk, jail-prone older brother. As Modern Drunkard Magazine put it,
I have two favorite malt liquors, as follows:
Colt 45
This is the 40 of Colt 45 that I am drinking RIGHT NOW while I watch House and post on forums.
Clearly I am really cool.
Colt 45 malt liquor is an American icon, just like the other Colt 45. Billy Dee Williams told us that It Works Every Time, and brother, it does. It doesn't taste THAT much worse than Budweiser, and it's miles cheaper. It's strong, but not strong enough that it'll run away from you like some of the higher gravity malt liquors can.
Steel Reserve
Tallboy of SR, pictured with a regular can of Lost Lake Ice (another great cheap drinker's beverage)
and the Springfield Armory beer koozie that I got at the Trace McWhirt benefit match.
Steel Reserve, I believe, is the pinnacle of malt liquor technology. The fact that I have a clean arrest record is mostly due to the fact that I haven't found it in 40oz bottles at any liquor stores in Tulsa yet. It is strong, and yet it tastes...OK it tastes horrible, but it's more than tolerable if you get it cold enough. Be careful with it; if you drink a good amount of Steel, you will spend your night making dirty phone calls to your ex-girlfriends and the next day your head will feel like Cro Cop just kicked you in the face.
Admittedly, my malt liquor horizons are pretty limited, so I encourage you to post your favorite malt liquors or other cheap beverages. Cheap bourbons will be for another thread for another time.
DISCLAIMER: This is a gun forum so I feel like I should put something in here about drinking and guns. Do not touch any firearms if you are under the influence of alcohol. Ever. If you do I will find out about it and give you a wedgie.
MODS: This thread isn't against the rules (I checked) but if you feel this is borderline then let me know and I won't make anymore boozethreads.
Something you may not know about me is that when I'm not busy being the worst action pistol shooter in the world, breaking into computers, or romancing all the cute vegan hipster girls at the University of Tulsa, I spend a lot of time drinking. Whether this is just a habit left over from my fraternity days, or simply a crutch that I use to help me bear the burden of being so incredibly brilliant and handsome, I enjoy drinking, as Hunter S Thompson put it, "at the upper end of social." Unfortunately, as a graduate student who makes almost no money (and who spends much of the disposable income he does have on guns and ammo), I can't exactly tip up a Chimay or 10 every time I want to get my buzz on. Hence, malt liquor.
Malt liquor is basically beer's no-good, drunk, jail-prone older brother. As Modern Drunkard Magazine put it,
MDM said:The beer so strong they don't even call it beer — they call it liquor. The brew from the bad part of town, the staple of gangstas and punk rockers, barrios and trailer parks. Strong, cheap and raw. Served up in a big bottle that hangs in your hand like a blackjack. Named after large man-killing animals and high-powered firearms. Activist groups say it causes violence, yuppies say it tastes like poison, experienced users know it dishes out mule-kick hangovers. That's right, baby, we're talking malt liquor.
I have two favorite malt liquors, as follows:
Colt 45
This is the 40 of Colt 45 that I am drinking RIGHT NOW while I watch House and post on forums.
Clearly I am really cool.
Colt 45 malt liquor is an American icon, just like the other Colt 45. Billy Dee Williams told us that It Works Every Time, and brother, it does. It doesn't taste THAT much worse than Budweiser, and it's miles cheaper. It's strong, but not strong enough that it'll run away from you like some of the higher gravity malt liquors can.
Steel Reserve
Tallboy of SR, pictured with a regular can of Lost Lake Ice (another great cheap drinker's beverage)
and the Springfield Armory beer koozie that I got at the Trace McWhirt benefit match.
Steel Reserve, I believe, is the pinnacle of malt liquor technology. The fact that I have a clean arrest record is mostly due to the fact that I haven't found it in 40oz bottles at any liquor stores in Tulsa yet. It is strong, and yet it tastes...OK it tastes horrible, but it's more than tolerable if you get it cold enough. Be careful with it; if you drink a good amount of Steel, you will spend your night making dirty phone calls to your ex-girlfriends and the next day your head will feel like Cro Cop just kicked you in the face.
Admittedly, my malt liquor horizons are pretty limited, so I encourage you to post your favorite malt liquors or other cheap beverages. Cheap bourbons will be for another thread for another time.
DISCLAIMER: This is a gun forum so I feel like I should put something in here about drinking and guns. Do not touch any firearms if you are under the influence of alcohol. Ever. If you do I will find out about it and give you a wedgie.
MODS: This thread isn't against the rules (I checked) but if you feel this is borderline then let me know and I won't make anymore boozethreads.