Jokes and funny memes.......

[CECannonJr]

 

[CECannonJr]

 

[CECannonJr]

 

[Bob Lee]

View attachment 34068

True story

 

[Mike A]

 

[Mike A]

 

[Bob Lee]

View attachment 34082

I know it was wrong....but I laughed. A take off from Blue collar comedy. Either Bill Engvall or Jeff Foxworthy.

 

[CECannonJr]

 

[CECannonJr]

 

[CECannonJr]

Have you ever wondered why it's okay to make jokes about Catholics, Jews, Christians, the Pope, the Irish, the Italians, the Polish, the Hungarians, the Chinese, the French (including French Canadians), the elderly, bad golfers,men/women and blacks/whites but it is insensitive to make jokes about Muslims?

Well, it's time to level the playing field and be politically incorrect by also including our friends, the Muslims, on this comedy list.

US Comedian Jeff Foxworthy has done his part to include Muslims on his list:

"If you grow and refine heroin for a living but morally object to the use of liquor,

You may be a Muslim.

If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher but can't afford shoes,

You may be a Muslim.

If you have more wives than teeth,

You may be a Muslim.

If you wipe your butt with your bare hand but consider bacon to be unclean,

You may be a Muslim.

If you think vests come in two styles, bullet-proof and suicide,

You may be a Muslim.

If you can't think of anyone that you haven't declared jihad against,

You may be a Muslim.

If you consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing,

You may be a Muslim.

If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs,

You may be a Muslim.

If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four,

You may be a Muslim.

If you find this offensive and do not forward it, you are part of the problem but, if you delete it,

Most likely you are a Muslim.

 

[CECannonJr]

A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of beer.

He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy,
"You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it.
It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.
One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado.
When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.
So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.

He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs.

All the regulars take notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my
condolences on your loss."

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.
"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains.
"It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."

"It hasn't affected my brothers though."

 

[CECannonJr]

 

[Bob Lee]

A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of beer.

He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy,
"You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it.
It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.
One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado.
When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.
So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.

He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs.

All the regulars take notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my
condolences on your loss."

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.
"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains.
"It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."

"It hasn't affected my brothers though."

I love it

A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of beer.

He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy,
"You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it.
It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.
One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado.
When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.
So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.

He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs.

All the regulars take notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my
condolences on your loss."

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.
"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains.
"It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."

"It hasn't affected my brothers though."

 

[Mike A]

 

[Mike A]

 

[Mike A]

 

[Mike A]

 

[Mike A]

 

[Mike A]

 

[Mike A]