20 gauge for 3 gun?

I have a M2 tactical that I shoot. She thinks it's too much for her. I think she needs to just step up and not be a punk about it, but if I actually say that she'd kick my butt or at least dent my head while I'm asleep.
 
Katie Harris: 16 years old 5'1" tall, 85 lbs. Benelli M2 12 gage redone by Salient Arms, with Federal 1 1/8 ounce Gold Medal Trap loads at 1250 fps. and Remington reduced recoil slugs.
 
I'm not much of a shotgun shooter but a girl I know is wanting to start shooting as well. Given the same type of load, what's the difference if felt recoil between a 12 and 20 gauge? Say on a scale of 1 to 10.
 
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